Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
