Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
