Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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