Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
