So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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