Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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