so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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