My hair reeks of homosexuality.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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