Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
