Your tits are I can't wait for
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
