gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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