You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Randomize
