My nipple is on Facebook.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
