glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
