Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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