All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
