the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
