so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
