well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
