In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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