Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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