he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My feet surprised me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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