With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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