So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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