Sponge bath it is.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
