you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
