yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize