I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
