yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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