David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
