Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
