so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize