Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
