You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Of course I have a pirate flag
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
