I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
