Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
