so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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