No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
