Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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