So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
