So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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