And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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