no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
