they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
