Acid is not a monday night drug
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How does it feel to date your dad?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
