i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
