Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
His nipple licking is glorious
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