Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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