everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Can I color on your dick again?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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