You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
