He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
