He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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