sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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