just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
