I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
