I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
