he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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