It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize