Where are you?
In a non slutty way
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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