Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
