i just google imaged poop.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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