um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
