When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
