respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
