the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
